A Man in a Trenchcoat
by obsessivethinking
Summary: (found crumpled on the street; a man in a trenchcoat strides away) What's so important about him? Why is he so important to you? CONTROL YOURSELF. Short snippets. Based off of a poem on tumblr. If convenient, review. If inconvenient, review anyway.


1. Personal Space: he is not comfortable with study of the intricacies of his face.

"What are you doing?"

"You have an extremely interesting face, John. Very expressive."

2. When he laughs at you, don't take it to heart.

"Would you let me cover you in marshmallows? For experimental purposes, of course."

"John? John. Why are you laughing at me?"

3. Don't insult his car.

"This is dreadful. Leather seats. Awful. Speed up, you're going too slow. I need to use the bathroom."

"We are never going on holiday again, Sherlock."

4. Or his music.

"I refuse to listen to that trash you call music."

"If I can deal with... what's the one you're always playing at night?"

"I believe you're talking about 'Chaccone'."

"Sure. Anyways, if I can deal with that at half past three in the morning, you deal with my '80's rubbish', as you so kindly put it."

5. Or the way he eats.

"You look like a hedgehog when you eat. It doesn't help with your hair sticking up like that."

"Shut up."

"It's endearing."

6. When he talks about things you don't understand, don't ask, just nod.

"You can't just barge into their house, tell them their daughter's dead and demand to see the scene of the crime. "

"I thought-"

"No, listen to me. It's rude. Stop being a tit and show some compassion for once. Go apologize or we're leaving."

7. Don't watch him without his knowing.

"Sh-... Sherlock? Is that you?"

"Yes."

"Jesus Christ, it's 1 A.M. Go to bed. And stop staring at me while I sleep. It's creepy."

8. Don't touch his lips.

"You've got a cut... there."

"Thanks, but I can handle it without you touching it."

"I'm trying..."

"I know."

9. Don't touch the lines beside his eyes (note: knowledge not gained from personal experience, merely based on observed behaviour.

"You seem happy with him. Look at those laugh lines."

"Ahh... yeah... we're good mates, is all, Suzie."

"Absolutely. No, I understand. Really."

10. Don't read his mind.

"You're sad today. Flashbacks?"

"Stop that, Sherlock."

"Agiated, too, I presume."

"Gah."

11. Don't mention 1. his mother 2. his father 3. god 4. especially god

"So, what about your parents, then?"

"Since when are you interested in my childhood, Sherlock?"

"It's nice to have some extra knowledge, is all."

"They're dead. Been dead a while."

"Were they religious?"

"My sister came out as gay and they pushed her away. What do you think?"

"Ah. Sore subject."

"I thought you would have deduced that a long time ago. I'm a bit disappointed."

12. Control yourself

"No. Don't think about him. Don't think about it. His lips, his tounge, what he could do with i-. No. Stupid brain. Control yourself."

13. What's so important about him? Why is he so important to you? CONTROL YOURSELF.

"He's nothing. He gets in the way. Doesn't let me keep samples in the fridge. Doesn't like me playing while he sleeps. He looks so sweet when he sleeps... CONTROL YOURSELF."

14. Reminder: It's alright that he hates you as long as you can still keep him safe.

"John, please. Say something. Please."

"Y-you. You were dead. I saw. I saw it. You were bleedi-. No."

"I know. But I'm here. I'm safe, you're safe. It's over."

A huff of breath. His nostrils flaring.

A punch. A thud. Groan.

"Bastard."

15. Everytime he smiles at you, it's worth it.

"You're smiling like an even bigger idiot than you already are, John."

"I can't believe you let Mrs. Hudson knit you a jumper. You, Sherlock Holmes, in a jumper two sizes too big."

"Save me some dignity, don't put it on the blog."

"No promises."

Cue the Holmes glare.

A flash.

A giggle.

16. Everytime he touches you, it's worth it.

"Oh my God. Sherlock. Are you alright? Are you hurt."

His hand on your shoulder. Warmth.

"Yes."

17. Don't touch him.

"Don't."

"I'm sorry."

18. Don't tell him.

"John."

"Hmm?"

Don't respond.

19. Don't tell him.

"There's something, John. Something I need to- never mind."

"What is it?"

"No, it's nothing. It's just that I accidently flushed your toothpaste down the toilet. Sorry."

"Great."

20. Don't tell him.

Sayitsayitsayitsayitnow. He's smiling at you. DammitSherlocksayitnow.

"John. IthinkIammaybeinlovewithyoua ndwouldyouliketohavedinner?"

Intake of breath. Pause. Deafening silence.

"Could you repeat that?"

"I think I'm in love with you. Wouldyouliketohavedinner?"

Smile.


End file.
